Back in April 2015, when this project was only a few months old, I received a Google Alert. Somewhere, a Seth Cohen was making news.
Seth Cohen #18, Seth Ari Cohen… another S.A.C.. And another S.A.C. who never really minded his initials. I guess I’m the only one?
In April 2015, Seth Cohen opened Southern California’s very first poke restaurant. This seems hard to believe today, as only 3 years later there is a poke restaurant on literally every corner. But, back in 2015, there was only a single place to get poke in LA – a rickety counter on Venice Beach.
10 out of 10 Seth Cohen(s), #18 and myself included, have the same reaction to this…
“You want me to eat raw fish from a stand on Venice Beach?”
Venice Beach isn’t known for its… cleanliness. S.A.C.’s friends insisted, “we’ve been eating there a couple days a week. It’s great.”
#18 actually knew what poke was, as he had spent some time in Hawaii.
Poke, pronounced poh-kay, comes from Hawaii. It’s basically a sushi bowl with lots of toppings and sauces to choose from. It’s delicious. I had some today actually.
So off Seth and his friends went to eat raw fish from a counter on the dirtiest beach in LA. Seth didn’t get sick. But he did get inspired!
Seth grew up a happy kid, in a happy family, in Los Angeles. He went to USC, spent a semester studying in Denmark, then back to LA where he has been since. After school he felt the “Jewish guilt” family pressure to join his father’s business – real estate finance. This didn’t excite Seth particularly, but it would do for the moment.
Seth Cohen #18 is an ambitious guy. He was looking for an opportunity. Looking to plant a flag of his own. Looking to be excited by something.
The poke on Venice Beach was just ok. Not as good as what Seth had had in Hawaii. But it got his wheels turning. That same day he sat down with a buddy (and future business partner) and they discussed bringing poke restaurants to the continental U.S. They got excited. They went back for more beach-stand-poke again that same night. They still didn’t get sick. But now they were truly excited.
And by April 2015, after scraping together some money, putting together a team, and doing the million other things it takes to open a restaurant… Sweetfin opened in Santa Monica, California and I got a Google Alert.
Three years later, we had the chance to meet. In that time, #18 has opened 6 more Sweetfin locations, with number 8 opening imminently in San Diego (the first non-L.A. location), and 9 & 10 well on their way. Pretty impressive, but even more so – Seth played a major role in unleashing the beast that is now poke in Southern California. Poke is the biggest culinary craze in the region. It’s way over the top. Seth Cohen did that.
Seth’s actually a bit concerned by the oversaturation of the market, but confident the quality of his product will allow him to continue to thrive. Building and scaling a business with “basically no experience” has been the toughest challenge of Seth’s life.
Q: So how’d you do it Seth?
A: Being willing to learn from anyone. Having no shame in asking for advice. Having no shame is asking for support. Being willing to sit down with anyone and ask questions.
So why’d it take three years for us to meet, Seth?! Just teasing. We good.
“Present company excepted,” he joked.
I was struck by how humble Seth is. It seems to me that in his mind, he’s just getting started, so there is no time for a big head.
Not that I think Seth would ever get a big head. He’s a very grounded guy; likes to work hard, challenge himself and give back to the community.
He sits on a couple boards, including a non-profit called Groceryships (soon to be rebranded Feast) that helps underserved communities learn about healthy eating and how food affects your health, your family, and your community. Cool stuff, Seth!
He also likes to stay active with outdoor activities, particularly cycling. But that wasn’t always the case. A couple years ago, #18 decided to participate in Chef Cycle – a 300-mile bike ride to support a program called No Kid Hungry. There was only one problem – Seth hadn’t ridden a bike since he was a kid.
No bother. Seth had never opened a restaurant before Sweetfin either, and that turned out all right. So Seth bought a bike, and two short months later was riding 300 miles of picturesque California roads in just three days. Impressive stuff, but par for the course for Seth Cohen #18 – an impressive guy. He’s planning to do this year’s Chef Cycle in May.
Q: Ever met another Seth Cohen?
A: Yeah, actually I was good friends with one growing up.
Wait! What?!? I sure wasn’t expecting that answer. I’ve asked all the Seth Cohen(s) this question, and the best I’ve gotten was some Seth Cohen(s) who had exchanged emails with other Seth Cohen(s), usually because they were receiving the wrong Seth Cohen’s email.
And these two Seth Cohen(s) hadn’t just emailed, or even just met… they were close buddies all through high school! The friend was known as “Big Seth Cohen” because he was really tall (although I think Seth Cohen #2 might have something to say about that). #18 was known as “Other Seth Cohen.” Amazing!
Big Seth Cohen is now a DJ in Berlin. I’ve had my eye on him for a while. One day Big Seth Cohen, one day…
#18 referenced “relentless” work ethic more than once. Makes sense for a guy who is doing so much, yet plays it all off like it’s no big deal. When I asked, as I always do, what is the best advice he has ever received, his answer was no surprise…
The first thing that comes to mind is from my dad. It’s a sports metaphor. Every day (game) it’s zero-zero. No matter how far ahead of your competition you may be, each day starts again at zero-zero. You can’t get complacent. Work hard. Take nothing for granted.
There are always deeper levels to go.
Indeed, Seth Cohen, indeed.
#ThereAreAlwaysDeeperLevelsToGo
#HisNameIsMyNameToo
#FindSethCohenFindYourself
A few months ago I started a new job at a conglomerate media company. They assigned me the email address Seth.Cohen2@ConglomerateMediaCompany.com.
So I knew one of my brethren was lurking.
They tried to tell me it was “impossible” to change my email address. “It’s automatically generated by the system.” I was pleased to soon learn that, like so very much in life, it’s just about getting the right person on the phone. I soon had a preferable email address, SethAdam.Cohen@ConglomerateMediaCompany.com, and there was only one thing left to do…
Find Seth Cohen!
Despite the fact that this is an international corporation with offices all over the world, I had an inexplicable feeling #17 was nearby. My hunch was proven correct! Same building. Four floors up. What are the chances?
I waited a couple weeks to settle into my new job and then I reached out. I already knew his email address. Seth.Cohen@ConglomerateMediaCompany.com. He replied within minutes. A date was set. Turns out this wasn’t the first time I found this particular Seth Cohen.
Two years ago when I was visiting Los Angeles for just a couple weeks, we had made arrangements to meet. When the day came, his pregnant wife was being rushed to the hospital. We exchanged some emails (everything with his wife and unborn twins would be a-ok). But we never got a chance to meet. Two years later, here we are working four floors apart in the same building for the same company. Seth found that remarkable. I concur.
Naturally, we met at the company’s commissary. It’s Wolfgang Puck, not too shabby. We both had the salad bar.
Seth David Cohen, henceforth and forever known as Seth Cohen #17.
“I’m a pretty boring person.”
While not true, #17 did have a point. He works a corporate office job (business analyst), lives in the suburbs (El Sereno, CA) and has a wife and kids. He grew up in Southern California, went to college in Southern California and now resides in Southern California (although that may change soon). His most active hobby is chasing twin toddlers in opposite directions. He enjoys fantasy sports and cooking (as do I!) but for the most part, he is the classic family man. Work, take care of the kids, love the wife, repeat.
As I have become profoundly aware, in no small part due to this project, there are no boring people once you take the time to get to know them.
I asked Seth Cohen, as I have asked 16 Seth Cohen(s) before, what was the biggest obstacle he has faced in life and how he overcame it. He was stumped. He has lived a pretty good, care free life. I prodded… told him of some of the other SC’s stories, and my own of being told at 8 years old I would never learn to read or write. Finally something clicked.
“Well I have had cancer three times.”
I was rather dumbfounded that he struggled to come up with an answer that to me would seem quite obvious.
“Cancer doesn’t define me.”
What a great way to look at life’s challenges Seth! But also one that takes great effort, I would think. A conscious choice would have to be made to not allow these things to define you. Seth Cohen #17 made that choice.
Seth was also very lucky, if someone who has had cancer three times can be described as lucky. All three times they caught it early, performed surgery and he was on his way.
Seth emotionlessly, simply as a matter of fact, explained his first diagnosis… testicular cancer at age 25. He went from diagnosis to cancer-free in less then ten days. “Now I just have one ball.” No biggie! Didn’t faze Seth Cohen one bit. In his mind, the only lingering effect was that he had to get regular blood screenings. And it’s a good thing he did, because that led his second diagnosis… adrenal cancer. They caught it early. They removed the gland, and a week later, he was back at work. And because things are better in threes… he was then diagnosed with skin cancer. “They just cut it off.”
As far as having cancer goes, Seth may not have suffered as much as others, but it has dramatically affected his life. One of the lasting effects of Seth’s surgeries: low sperm count.
Low sperm count wasn’t a problem when Seth was single. Seth had spent seven years dating his college sweetheart, until they realized they were terrible for each other. Then came six years of the bachelor life for #17 – a period he seems to look back on with both disdain and nostalgia. One day, on a lark, Seth and a buddy decided to join e-Harmony.
He had signed up for a year expecting a dating gauntlet, with low expectations. After doing nothing for a long while, Seth eventually set up his first date.
It was his last first date!
That first date was all it took. Seth met his wife, got married and lived happily ever after. Well, actually… low sperm count. Now that Seth was married and ready to start a family, this became an issue. So off to the IVF clinic it was for Seth and his wife.
Fast forward to June 2015. I was in Los Angeles for work. Seth was at the hospital with his wife, who was six months pregnant with twins. Due to the high-risk nature of twin pregnancies, plus the IVF and hormone treatments, one of the twin’s embryonic sac had ruptured. They were born three months prematurely and spent the first two months of their lives in the Neonatal NICU center in plastic incubators.
Like seemingly everything else in his life, everything worked out just fine. Life goes on. Seth is now the proud papa of happy and healthy twin two-year olds!
Seth seems content with his “boring” life. He loves his family. So much so that a Southern California guy through and through is contemplating a move, at his wife’s behest, to Philadelphia. Seth is easy-going about this as well. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won’t, but life goes on..
#17 seems the perfect Seth Cohen to meet with after the last two years I have had. For my avid readers, to address the elephant in the room… yes, there is a reason it’s been two years since I have met another Seth Cohen.
In the last two years I… moved back to LA, got an ok job, got promoted three months later to a great job, got an end of the year raise… and then got laid off six weeks later because the company got into a major controversy involving the Klu Klux Klan! Yeah… no joke… I lost my job because of the Klu Klux Klan!
Two days later, while I was on the plane on my way to be with him, my father passed away. He was suffering and it was a long time coming… but still not fun.
A couple weeks after that I got hired to do a video shoot in Hawaii and thought my luck had changed. On my 2nd to last day there, I woke up blind in my left eye. For real.
Less then a month after my father passed, and after years and years of watching him go to numerous medical appointments every single week and take handfuls of medicine every three hours… I thought I was done with all that… Then it became my life. For six months, I couldn’t do much of anything, other than go to medical appointments and administer different eye drops every three hours. I now have most of my sight back.
#17’s matter-of-fact attitude towards his various trials was rather surprising to me in the moment. In retrospect, I believe it just speaks to the man he is. Things happen, you deal with them and move on. Easier said then done, but admirable.
It’s the exact challenge I am facing.
In the course of six weeks I lost my job, lost my father and then lost my vision. But the good news is, I am doing pretty great. I moved on and there will be many more Seth Cohen meet-ups in my future!
Since the eye-attack, I have played under waterfalls and swam with giant sea turtles. I saw meteors from atop a 12,000 foot volcano. In fact, I saw countless meteors in many of the places I visited last year. I spent my 40th birthday Hot-Air Ballooning with my Moms. I spent a week solo-camping in Arizona where I had tens of thousands of acres of pristine canyon to myself. The list goes on and on. I have a great new job, new apartment and am working on some really exciting side-projects. Including this one, for the first time in two years!
No matter what I have dealt with, I’m pretty sure I still had a better year then 99% of humans on earth. Full stop.
Often when out in nature I am struck by how truly profound a difference perspective makes.
When I started my new job and found out I couldn’t get my preferred email address, I also had major trouble setting up all the various technology thingies. I’d put in work-requests with the IT department, who would never do anything about anything.
Here’s how that went: IT would receive the request, IT would email Seth Cohen #17. Seth Cohen #17 would inform IT that he is not having IT issues. IT would close work-request ticket.
Always the good family man, #17 left me with one last bon mot. I asked him the best or most memorable advice he had ever received.
“Raising kids gets easier every day.”
It stands out, he said…
“Because it was a lie!”
#FindSethCohenFindYourself #HisNameIsMyNameToo
Seth Adam Cohen. No, not me… the other Seth Adam Cohen. Seth Cohen #16!
I have actually identified a couple other Seth Adam Cohen(s), but this is the first one I have had the pleasure of meeting. And a pleasure it was…
So, Seth Adam Cohen… SAaaaaaC… do you hate your initials as much as I do?
“Nope.”
#16 grew up in a happy family in Maryland. He tried to convince me it was an uneventful childhood, but soon enough I learned the truth. Seth Cohen #16 was a child actor, and a successful one at that!
It all began rather incidentally. Seth took gymnastic lessons as a youngster. One day some casting agents came to the gym looking for a young kid who could do some tricks on the trampoline and look cute doing it. They chose Seth. And thus began an illustrious, if short-lived, career as a local child-actor star. Seth had offers to go to Hollywood and try to make it in the big-time, but that never really interested him. He stayed in Maryland, enjoyed his childhood and had fun starring in a series of local TV commercials and even an episode of ‘Homicide: Life on the Street.’
During high school Seth developed a love for math and science, and by the time he was looking at colleges knew he wanted to study physics and astronomy, as well as continue his love affair with acting and singing. Off to Wesleyan University he went, which coincidently (or maybe not so coincidently?), was a school I also strongly considered.
After college, #16 knew he was bound for grad-school, but he wasn’t ready yet. He had an opportunity to be a part of a small research team that would have extraordinary access to a super powerful telescope. But, it was in Wyoming! A foreign world he’d never been, far from his friends and family and this place was in a particularly remote area, even for Wyoming. It was a difficult decision at the time, although looking back now he marvels at how “young and dumb” he was being. It turned into an amazing, life-changing adventure.
Seth’s year in Wyoming cemented his love of astronomy, his disdain for research and perhaps most life altering… a deep passion for rock-climbing.
After his year in Wyoming, Seth headed back to the friendly confines of the Northeast to continue his studies in physics and astronomy at Dartmouth University, to enjoy the bountiful rock-climbing opportunities in the nearby White Mountains… and, eventually, to meet the love of his life, his wife – Kate.
I’m no rock-climber (though I did practically beg #16 to take me) but I do enjoy a good hike in the mountains, and I have enjoyed those same White Mountains on many occasions.
Seth Cohen(s) of a feather, flock together.
During his time at Dartmouth, Seth came upon another quite fortuitous opportunity. This time some local school officials were looking for Dartmouth students to teach a special program for grade-school students. They were to instill in them a love of science and show them that “scientists were normal people.” Again, Seth Cohen was chosen. He soon discovered he was good with kids, good at teaching. And he enjoyed it.
What Seth Cohen #16 didn’t enjoy was research. This was quite unfortunate since the life of an astronomer or physicist is, basically, decades of research. He did still love those fields, but his disinterest in research made his time at Dartmouth… less productive then anticipated. And so it was in his 5th year when his faculty advisor broke up with him. Yeah… in his 5th year! It just wasn’t working out. Seth wasn’t living up to his potential. The advisor, of course, was right, but this threw Seth’s life into chaos. Would he be able to find a new advisor at this late stage? Would he be able to finish his degree?
It was at this point that Seth began applying for teaching jobs. He was offered a position, to teach astronomy and physics at a prestigious high school in the Berkshires – a particularly beautiful part of Western Massachusetts, and one that features ample rock-climbing opportunities. Perfect!
Meanwhile, back at Dartmouth, a newly hired, but already overworked professor agreed to be his advisor on a make-good basis. And make-good Seth did. This advisor was a much better fit, and Seth began to excel. He turned down the teaching opportunity and recommitted himself to his studies.
A year later, Seth had completed the on-campus requirements of his degree program, and as luck would have it, the teaching position in the Berkshires was again available. Seth didn’t hesitate. You don’t turn down a golden opportunity twice.
Interestingly enough, as I sit here writing this account, on December 30th, I am hopping to complete it (without short-changing this very fulfilling Seth Cohen meet-up, of course) because I too am soon off to the Berkshires - to celebrate New Years at a beautiful house in the woods, with some close friends.
Seth Cohen(s) of a feather, flock together.
Meanwhile, #16 is currently in Mexico – spending his NYE rock-climbing. Naturally.
Have I mentioned that Seth Cohen #16 likes to rock-climb? No, you don’t understand, he really, really loves rock-climbing. Ever since Wyoming, he lives to rock-climb.
Seth tells me that for many people rock-climbing is about the adrenaline, or about being out in nature, traveling to amazing places - all of which is true for him, but even more so, for #16, it is the challenge of bettering himself, testing himself. He will go back and do the same climb repeatedly. He loves the feeling of overcoming. Perhaps the first time he attempts a new climb, it will be incredibly intimidating (like moving by yourself to the middle-of-nowhere Wyoming), and he will try to climb it and only get so far to the goal. So he goes home, trains harder, learns and grows. He then returns for another attempt at the climb. This time it seems slightly less intimidating, and he gets a bit further; but not all the way to his goal. So more training, more self-improvement and he tries again. Eventually he conquers the climb, and can’t even remember why he was intimidated to begin with (like Wyoming). This is the feeling Seth craves.
This is a craving we share.
Seth told me that the way he sees it, many people define their lives by who they are with. In fact, many of the SCs have told me that family is far and away the most important part of their lives. Family is of course very important to #16. However he prefers to define his life not by whom he is with… but by what he is doing. And experiences he has had…
There was this one time…
The Place: Vedauwoo, Wyoming.
The Time: 5:30pm
Seth was doing some rock-climbing with a group of friends-of-friends. No one he knew well. Allan told Seth about a narrow, naturally formed tunnel through solid rock nearby. Allan and Seth decided to break off from the rest of the group and check it out.
From one end it was relatively wide, wide enough for a grown man to crawl on his back, feet first, and explore. On the other end, the last few feet, tapered. Allan crawled in the wide side. He made it to the end, but didn’t think he could fit through the tapered opening on the other side. Eventually he wriggled his way back through the tunnel and out the opening from which he had entered. Once he was out, Allan and Seth walked around to the other side. The smaller opening began after a significant right angle in the rock - a fact that would indeed become significant. The angled part was broad, and then there was the tapered hole that lead to the tunnel.
#16 wasn’t necessarily trying to crawl through the tunnel, but as the curious creatures we Seth Cohen(s) are, he wanted to investigate deeper. Lying on his back, Seth inched in, headfirst. To his surprise, his shoulders, the widest part of the human body, fit through the small opening. He was in. But as I mentioned, he wasn’t really trying to crawl though the tunnel. It was getting late. It was time to go home. Seth began to inch himself back out, feet first now, the small hole he had just entered.
NOPE! It wasn’t happening.
Whenever I am hiking in the mountains with somebody, I always remind them – but am really just reminding myself – just because you can climb up something, doesn’t mean you can climb down. My nature, human nature (?) tells me that if I can get up, I should be able to get down – but this is simply not true.
And on that fateful day in Vedauwoo, Seth Cohen learned that just because you can crawl in, doesn’t mean you can crawl out. His shoulders had fit in, the rest of his body should have been able to as well. But nope! Perhaps it was the sharp right angle in the rock, to this day Seth isn’t really sure, but Seth Cohen #16 was stuck, head first, feet sticking out, a narrow solid rock tunnel in the middle of nowhere Wyoming. And it was getting dark.
Seth didn’t panic. He tried and tried again. He tried to go out the way he came in. He tried to continue into the tunnel and exit the wider end. He tried everything. He was s-t-u-c-k.
SHIT.
After about an hour of this fruitless struggle, the other members of his climbing party had joined them. Some went for help. By hour three, Allan had once again crawled through the wide side of the tunnel and was hanging-out in there with Seth, head-to-head, both on their backs, in the super tight space, past sunset, trying to keep calm. The Sherriff had shown up, with chisels, but they quickly realized that wasn’t going to work. We are talking about thousands and thousands of pounds of solid rock.
The logical solution, in my mind at least, would have been to grab his feet and YANK him out. So what if they dislocated his shoulders. It would still be a lot better then James Franco (née Aron Ralston) literally sawing off his own arm!
Remember when I told you that that sharp right angle in the rock opening would become significant? Well, it was. Even if they wanted to just rip him straight out of the hole, the angle made that impossible.
By hour six, yes, six hours later, even more people had shown up. Now, Seth’s friends-of-friends, the Sherriff and perfect strangers were huddled around the opening, Seth’s legs sticking out, trying to figure out what the heck to do… and one of them, a stranger, had a brilliant idea. If they looped some climbing rope in just such and such a way around some rocks, they would be able to pull straight, the rope making the right angle attached to Seth around the corner, and they might be able to yank him out.
It was worth a try.
A vat of Crisco was obtained. Seth, with Allan’s help, was able to harness himself around his shoulders with the rope. He oiled himself up. They rigged the rope around the rocks in just the perfect way. Seth exhaled as deeply as possible… Allan pushed, and ELEVEN people, at 11:30pm, in Vedauwoo, Wyoming… Pulled, pulled, pulled… and out popped Seth Cohen!
Whew! #16 was out. Uninjured, with barely even a scratch. And for the first time Seth was able to see the people, the perfect strangers, whose voices he had been listening to for hours attempting to set him free. Grateful would be an understatement.
The moral of this story? “Don’t go in if you aren’t sure you can get out.” Doesn’t sound so profound at the moment, but perhaps it will at some point in my future.
So Seth… got any other good advice?
“Give people the benefit of the doubt.”
No matter what happens, no matter what slight you perceive someone has committed… you don’t know what is going on in their lives. You don’t know their side of the story, and there are always two sides to the story. So you can choose to be angry, or you can decide not to be angry. Give people the benefit of the doubt.
Thanks, Seth Cohen, I will take that to heart.
Any other advice? Maybe you know the meaning of life?
“Why does there have to be a meaning?” Spoken like a true physicist.
What about astronomy? I love astronomy. Tell me something cool.
Seth hesitated. It’s almost too cliché amongst astronomers… Neil deGrasse Tyson says it all the time… but it’s just so darn cool he had to say it:
“Every atom in your body was once in a star.” Coolio!
As two Seth Adam Cohen(s) sat and chatted, having a swell old time, we covered more topics then I can fit in these pages, this is already the longest of my posts. What struck me most, once again, was our commonalities. Growing up in the Northeast. The Berkshires. Love of astronomy. Love of the mountains. The same first, last and middle name! A shared zest for life. I could go on and on. At the risk of sounding repetitive… I am constantly amazed by how much I have in common with each and every SC. Those commonalities are different with each, but they are there, and they are stark. It really puts humanity in perspective.
Seth Cohen(s) of a feather, flock together. And aren’t we all Seth Cohen(s) deep down inside?
After a year at the school in the Berkshires, Seth got an offer to teach at an even-more prestigious high school, in Concord, New Hampshire, where there are even-more opportunities to go rock-climbing. Seth no longer hesitates on these life-altering decisions when a potential adventure awaits.
“If somebody told me my life was going to be exactly what it is right now - my job teaching, the people around me, my wife, rock-climbing and doing some signing – for the rest of my life – I’d be A-Okay with that.” Kudos #16. You enjoy that life. Sounds pretty sweet to me.
And oh… by the way… those good friends I am spending NYE with in the Berkshires… they are getting married in May. The groom just texted me. It seems their wedding videographer will be… Seth Cohen #3!!!
I love this project. Happy New Year!
Seth Cohen #15, better known as Seth Philip Cohen. Not to be confused with Seth Phillip Cohen, or Philip Seth Cohen AKA Seth Philip Cohen AKA Seth Cohen #14.
What’s in a name? To #15, quite a lot.
It was already a particularly dark moment in Seth’s life when he got the call. Seth picked up the phone. His best friend was dead. Suicide.
Seth imploded. A fully-grown man, reduced to ruble in mere seconds.
Lying on the floor, hysterical, Seth Cohen knew he needed a change. His life was not working out the way he intended. He envisioned a better future for himself. He envisioned a future for himself.
And then a second phone call.
Seth’s friend was fine, alive and well. Another woman, approximately the same age, with approximately the same physical description, living in approximately the same area, who had the exact same name, was the deceased.
Relieved, but still shaken, #15 took this as a sign. It was time to start over.
So Seth Cohen got up off that floor, straightened himself out and moved to Florida. Thus began the next, much improved, chapter in Seth’s life. And in this very tangible way, confusion amongst two people with the same name, changed #15’s life forever and set him on his path to today. Seth knows exactly where he would be if he had never got that call and never moved to Florida: nowhere good.
So, what’s in a name? Everything. Life and death. New beginnings. Possibilities.
Seth grew up in Danbury, CT, with his loving parents and two brothers. One brother’s name is Josh, just like mine, making him the second Seth Cohen with a brother named Josh that I have met.
After his Florida reset, Seth ended up back in CT, in Willimantic, which is where we met, and where he met the love of his life, Robin. They now live together, along with Robin’s teenage daughters, Robin’s daughter’s daughter and a dog. It’s a hectic household, but Seth isn’t complaining.
“It is what it is. Relationships are hard work, but it’s worth it. I love her.”
‘It is what it is’ is a refrain that #15 returns to often. Seth wonders about past decisions, and time gone by, but has a very Seth Cohen attitude about his journey.
“I’ve had my ups and downs in life. But it is what it is, and it’s always a learning experience.”
Spoken like a true Seth Cohen.
So many Seth Cohen(s) share this philosophy. That life is a journey and that whatever path they have taken, the decisions they have made, have led them to this moment and wherever they are at this moment is exactly where they are supposed to be. These themes have come up over and over (and over and over and over) in my discussions with the SCs, but it was fascinating to hear it from #15. It seems to me rather easy for someone who is enjoying the spoils of life to believe they create their own destiny. This belief, coupled with their success in life, fuels the ego. But #15’s life hasn’t been all candy and roses. He is still searching, still striving to find his place – as I am. And he has had his dark moments – as I have. Yet still he looks forward. He does not bemoan the past. He believes his best days are ahead. And he knows that his ups and downs have made him the man he is today.
So Seth, what have you learned along the way?
“Do the next right thing.”
So simple, yet so valuable. Anything else Seth?
“I’m responsible for me.”
Agreed. More?
“Family is number 1.”
Another very Seth Cohen thing to say!
I very much enjoyed my time with #15. His story was very different then many of the other SCs, but my takeaway was the same: there really is something to being a Seth Cohen (most likely because it’s an anagram for ‘The Chosen One’). No, I’m kidding. It’s that if you sit down and have a true meaningful dialogue with someone, no matter how similar or different they may appear, you will find a wealth of commonalities.
We sat for hours, chatting, on a lovely wooden deck overlooking a beautiful New England landscape As we munched sandwiches and mozzarella sticks, we talked sports (he’s a New York sports fan, I’m for Boston), we talked hobbies (he wants to take up metal-detecting - treasure hunting) and we talked the future (he plans to move south someday, to North Carolina).
When we said our goodbyes there was also, like with many of the SCs, talk of a ‘next time,’ which always warms my heart. There was also an opportunity for me to notice a trailhead into that afore mentioned beautiful New England landscape. I waved goodbye as #15 drove off, and, my mind bubbling with new Seth Cohen insights, decided to take a bit of a stroll before getting back into the car for my trip home.
As I walked through vast rolling fields and along a picturesque river leading to a dammed off lake - I passed many people, young and old, families, lovers, joggers – and each and every one of them had a big smile on their face for me. Some even said hello. I was struck by how friendly people were here. Was it the beautiful setting? Perhaps, just a particularly affable corner of Connecticut?
It wasn’t until I was nearly back to my car that I looked down at myself and realized the answer. I was still wearing my ‘Hello My Name Is Seth Cohen’ nametag. Does it every time! The world really would be a better place if we all just wore nametags.
Driving home I thought about Seth’s journey, and my own, the other SCs I have met, and the ones I have yet to meet – and I think #15 summed it up best…
“It is what it is. We’re here now. The only way to change it, is to do something about it.”
Amen, Seth Cohen. Amen.
Rules are made to be broken.
Seth Cohen #14 was born Philip Seth Cohen, though that was never intended to be his name. He was named in honor of his great grandfather, but even before the ink was dry on his birth certificate, he was known as Seth. It’s the only first name #14 has ever known. He’s even the lucky Seth Cohen who procured the domain name SethCohen.com back in the early dot-com days. He’s also the very generous Seth Cohen who has been allowing me to use that very domain as the online home of this very project. “I couldn’t possibly think of a better use for it” he told me, and while I concur, it is still a very generous contribution, one he made before ever meeting me.
That’s just the kinda guy Seth Cohen is.
I have been asked many times if I would meet a Seth Cohn or a Seth Cowen, names that are pronounced the same as mine but spelled differently. I have declined. This is already a far-flung and far-reaching project, I need to have some rules to keep it manageable-ish. The plan had been to meet only people with the legal name Seth Cohen. But for #14 I broke those rules. I’m such a rebel.
I met #14 at his house in the hills of Aptos, CA, just outside of Santa Cruz. Though there have been other invites, this is the first opportunity I have had to visit a home of Seth Cohen! And the first opportunity to meet a wife of Seth Cohen! And meet a dog of Seth Cohen!
This is also a part of the country I love dearly and therefore a Seth Cohen that I was particularly anxious to meet. I have been all over this fine country, and there are some breathtaking spots, but from Big Sur to the Monterey Peninsula on the mid-Californian coast is my spot. It’s beautiful, of course, but there is something more to it for me. It seems the energy simply matches my own.
So on this fine day, in this particularly fine corner of America… two Seth Cohen(s) and one dog, Beatrix, took a hike.
We saw some splendid mountain vistas. We saw bunny rabbits and a baby dear. We even saw ‘The Great White Redwood.’ Basically, an albino redwood tree… that when the area was clear-cut back in the day, the lumberjacks saw-fit to leave standing. Who knows why they did so, but today ‘The Great White Redwood’ towers over its peers both in stature and uniqueness.
But it wasn’t so much what we saw that sticks with me. It’s all about the talk.
“I’m gonna be 50 and I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up.” Perhaps that is because Seth Cohen #14 doesn’t plan on ‘growing up’ at all, or perhaps it is because each day is a new exciting opportunity for this Seth Cohen.
Seth Cohen #14 lives a good life, a life I admire. Some would even say, as they have said about other Seth Cohen(s), that he lives a lucky life.
In the last month #14 has been to Dallas (twice), Chicago, Columbus, Edinburgh, London, Denver and is headed to Italy next week and either China or back to London after that.
Seth had lived in Maryland, Puerto Rico, and Brooklyn, NY by the time he was 5. Then Wyoming, Florida and Montana before ending up in Deadwood, South Dakota for high school.
Seth grew up with his single mother. She was, and is, a “strong, independent woman, and very business savvy.” Seth recognizes these traits in himself and knows he has her to thank. She worked in radio, and each stop along this path was a new station and a new challenge.
Seth attributes his vagabond childhood to his life today as a seeker. Always up for the next adventure, always looking for what comes next.
After high school, Seth headed to UC Santa Cruz, and studied economics. He spent a few years after school in the Bay Area, but eventually ended up in Los Angeles and then London working for a startup. Along the way, Seth shifted from economics to market research. This, like much of #14s life, was a natural transition; one that kind of “just happened” but set the stage for Seth’s future.
Eventually he and his wife found themselves in London and out of work. In true Seth Cohen fashion, they saw this not as a problem but an opportunity. So they spent many months traveling Europe, enjoying life, each day a new adventure.
“Some people collect things, some collect friends, we collect adventures.” This seems to be a trend amongst Seth Cohen(s).
Back in the States, Seth and his wife decided that Santa Cruz felt like home. They also decided to work from home, and go into business for themselves. Soon enough, or rather after much hard work and sacrifice, they were consulting for some of the biggest companies in the world. They laugh about it now. “We’re just two shmucks sitting on our couch in sweatpants doing high level work for Verizon, Facebook, the NFL…”
But those two schmucks are living their dream. They work hard, for their clients, for each other (“love is hard work”) but they also enjoy life to its fullest. They make their own schedule. They travel the world. They enjoy hiking and biking and scuba diving. They like to investigate different cultures, not by visiting the tourist attractions, but by having conversation – real, meaningful conversations – with the locals they meet in each new country, in each new town, during each new adventure.
Sounds like a pretty sweet life to this Seth Cohen. But is it a lucky life?
Seth Cohen #14 doesn’t believe in luck. Even though people that know him would swear he is the luckiest guy around. Things always seem to work out for Seth Cohen. And adventure seems to find him.
Seth refutes this notion that he is lucky. It’s the source of ongoing debate with his mother. #14 believes in hard work, being open to opportunities when they arise, and always taking the plunge. He believes in the serendipitous nature of life. “Take opportunities when they present themselves. Sometimes it’s a step sideways or even backwards… but it’s always an adventure… and it always brings you to where you are today.”
Many times in my life, when something particularly awesome or bizarre or unbelievable has happened, and this happens often, people have said to me… “Of course that just happened to you… you’re Seth Cohen.”
This comment always irks me. It seems dismissive to simply attribute this to luck. Or to being Seth Cohen. Stuff happens. To everyone. The more open you are to new experiences, the more stuff happens. I have always believed that if I just do what I know to be right, continue to move forward and follow my heart… good things will come. I discussed with #14 that I have been questioning this theory recently, but as we eventually agreed, the journey isn’t over yet.
But maybe there is something to this widespread belief that ‘things just happen to Seth Cohen?’ It does seem to come up a lot…
#14’s mother was remarried not too long ago. At the rehearsal dinner, back in the gambling town of Deadwood, the party was told that everyone’s meal would be free if one of them could roll double sixes with the restaurant’s fuzzy dice. All eyes turned to Seth Cohen.
And so Seth rolled those fuzzy dice, and sure enough, Seth Cohen rolled double sixes. Nobody expected anything other. But then the house manager came over to their table. There had been a mistake. He showed them the official rules. Turns out that a single roll of double sixes got the table 30% off their meal. Seth would need to roll double sixes twice in a row to get the free meals for everyone.
And so again, Seth rolled those fuzzy dice. A hush filled the room, and ‘as if in a Hollywood movie, everything in slow motion,’ the first dice landed on six. Then the second, teetering on its edge for what seemed an impossible length of time, slowly, so slowly, but not unexpectedly, rolled over to also reveal a six. Double sixes! Twice in a row! Everyone’s meal was free. Seth Cohen had done it again.
‘Of course he just rolled double sixes… twice in a row… he’s Seth Cohen,’ remarked one of the guests, speaking the words on everyone’s mind.
Even #14 has to agree… sometimes Seth Cohen is just lucky.
Seth Cohen #13 suggested we meet at a Jewish Deli, which was A-Okay with me. On the ride over I dreamed of the pickled tomatoes (a specialty of many Jewish Delis), and how I was going to have to explain my obsession with pickled tomatoes to #13.
As the server seated us, Seth Cohen #13 said the most beautiful thing.
“Can we have some pickled tomatoes, please?”
We were both a bit surprised, and more then a bit distraught to find out they didn’t have pickled tomatoes. But nontheless, the meeting was off to a lovely start.
I like Seth Cohen already.
I wasn’t sure what to expect from #13, a chemist, and the chair of his department at the University of Californian, San Diego. Turns out he is a very personable, interesting guy. Highly intelligent, but he doesn’t fit the ‘stiff scientist’ stereotype. He speaks in words I understand, and has a broad range of interests beyond his research and teaching work.
Seth has an interest in politics. He worked for the Democrats as a volunteer organizer in the last two presidential elections. In fact, if he hadn’t gone into science, he might have gone into politics. Either that or he would have become an astronaut, something he has in fact applied to NASA for in the past.
#13 even took a yearlong sabbatical to work for the White House Science Office. He was there during the year that bridged the Bush and Obama administrations. He appreciated (and was maybe a little surprised by) the bipartisan nature of his colleges there. He really enjoyed his time in DC, and the city itself. And he really loved the collision of his interest in science and in politics.
So how did Seth Cohen #13 become a chemist and professor anyway?
“A series of unpredictable events.”
Isn’t that always the way?
Seth grew up in Los Angeles, in the Valley. He did well enough in high school to get into Stanford, where he was a “good” student, “not great.” He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with his life, but his best buddy Steve Miller (no, not that Steve Miller, and no, he has never met that Steve Miller) knew exactly what he was going to do. Steve Miller wanted to be a scientist. And he wanted Seth Cohen to be a scientist too. It was Steve’s prodding more then anything else, along with the general interest in science his father had instilled in him, which first led him to entertain the idea of becoming a scientist.
That’s two SCs in a row who had someone else recommend a career for them… that they grew to love.
And two SCs in a week who compared their discipline of science to art, which I found fascinating. “Being a chemist, literally creating new molecules, is very creative. It’s like art.”
After college Seth still wasn’t sold on this whole becoming a scientist thing, and he wasn’t sure he would really enjoy grad school, but he decided to give it a try. Off to Berkley for a PHD program he went. He figured he would just leave if he didn’t like it. But he did like it. And he excelled. The next stop was Boston for a postdoc at MIT.
And then it was time to get a job. Seth applied for positions both in the private sector and in academia. He had some lucrative offers in the private sector, and saw many of his classmates and friends take similar positions. But through the interview process, Seth got a lot of interest and a lot of excitement and positive feedback from the academic side. And so Seth Cohen became a professor.
“Any regrets Seth?”
If you have been reading this blog, you already know the answer. Seth Cohen has no regrets.
“I could certainly make a lot more money in the private sector, but I love teaching, and being in academia allows for great opportunities.” Like when he took a yearlong sabbatical to work for the White House. Or this coming semester, which he is also taking off. He sees more of these types of adventures in his future.
Seth Cohen loves adventures.
His father once told him “90% of the people in the world are assholes. Find the other 10%.”
Seth’s father has been a big influence on his life, as my own has on mine. Seth’s father was a telemarketer, which sounded a lot better when he latter explained that he owned a large and successful telemarketing company that employed many of his extended family. He was also a huge “science geek” and an avid tinkerer and classic car enthusiast.
Family. Science. Classic cars. Seth Cohen #13 in a nutshell.
I never tinkered on cars with my father. I can’t ever really even remember playing catch with my father. By the time I can remember, he was already an old man, with a bad back. But he was, and is, a great father. He was the same age as many of my friend’s grandparents, but with his age came wisdom and clarity.
I asked #13 what the best advise he has ever received. He, like almost every other Seth Cohen apologized for being so cliché, then he, like almost every other Seth Cohen, gave some version of this advice…
“Treat people with decency.”
He credits his parents for “raising him right.”
“Treat people with kindness, deference, respect. Just be a good person.”
It’s as simple as that. 99% of Seth Cohen(s) agree.
#13 like his father, is a devoted father. He has a 10 year-old daughter, whom he loves very much. He also has an ex-wife, whom he also loves very much. They just grew apart. They live close by though, remain good friends and amicably and lovingly share custody of their daughter.
#13 like his father, is still an avid car enthusiast, buying cars to tinker on, attending classic car shows and, of course, taking his babies cruising. In the last few years alone he’s owned a 73 Mustang, a 69 Firebird and a 1999 Prowler. The latter of which isn’t so much a classic car, but has nostalgic value for Seth. He showed me pictures, like a proud father.
#13 used to get emails for another Seth Cohen. They were both on the campus of UCSD in different departments. From time to time they, like so many other Seth Cohen(s), got emails meant for the other. They forwarded them on with some nicety, but they never met. Then one day Seth Cohen got an email…
“I’m leaving campus. You won’t be getting emails swapped with mine anymore. Take care.”
–Seth Cohen
The end.
Way back when, during the very first week of this project, on a particularly busy day of meeting Seth Cohen(s) in New York City, I returned exhausted to my buddy’s apartment where I had been staying. Wearing my trademark ‘Hello My Name Is’ nametag, I bumped into a couple who live next door. I had met them before as we have friends in common, but this time, prompted by my nametag, they seemed quite overeager to hear about my project.
I thought they were patronizing me.
Nope. They just know another Seth Cohen! They grew up together in Southern California and remain close friends to this day.
Seth Cohen #12 grew up in the sunny seaside town of Palos Verdes, CA, just south of Los Angeles proper and has never really left. He now lives in the next town over, Redondo Beach, but still works in Palos Verdes. During the summer after his freshman year of college in San Diego, Seth’s former high school drama department hired him to do tech work on one of their productions. He’s been there ever since.
#12 was never completely sure about what he wanted to do with his life, maybe he still isn’t. He did a lot of theater in high school, both on stage and behind the scenes. He began studying film and video in college. Then, came the tap on the shoulder.
By sophomore year of college, Seth was commuting back and forth between San Diego and Palos Verdes weekly to work tech on his former high school’s theater productions while attending college full time. Then, one day, his former principal (and current boss) pulled him aside.
‘What are you going to do with your life?’ was the gist of the inquiry.
Seth, like myself to this day, wasn’t quite sure how to answer that question.
‘This is what you are going to do… you are going to get your teaching degree, you are going to keep working here and when the head of the drama department retires, you are going to take over.’
#12 didn’t know it at that time, but that conversation would set the course of his future. Soon enough Seth warmed to this idea. He got his teaching degree. And later attended a specialized graduate program for theater teachers. And he still works for his former high school, having eventually taken over the department just as his principal had predicted.
This idea of a tap on the shoulder and someone laying out your future for you is fascinating to me. No one ever told me what I could or could not do, and that is a good thing. I cherish my freedom. However I think I might have found some sort of comfort in having a plan laid out for me. Especially a plan that I could live with, be happy with even. Maybe?
As I have with each Seth Cohen, I asked #12 about what the biggest challenge or obstacle he has faced in life, and he gave me an interesting answer.
“Myself.”
Come to think of it, that is probably how I should start answering that question as well. Seth Cohen is very self-aware. This causes him to overthink things and underthink other things. He is overly analytical “and that prevents me from taking chances” he said. When he reflects on the payoffs and risks in various life decisions, big and small, he thinks he might have played it too safe.
Many of the people who know me best would describe me quite similarly. Notably though, I feel like these same qualities lead me to very different decisions. I certainly never played it safe, even if at times I thought I was.
Now in his 30s, Seth Cohen #12 has been living in the very same area and going to the very same classroom everyday, almost uninterrupted, since 9th grade. He loves teaching and he loves theater. Being a drama teacher (and the head of the drama department!) suits him quite well. But does he have regrets?
Seth Cohen has no regrets.
‘The choices we make set us on the path to where we are now. If you are not satisfied with the results, use that as a lesson for the future.”
Spoken like a true teacher. He is not sure if his students consider him the “cool teacher” but I have a feeling they do. Plus, he is full of good advice.
“Don’t stress the minor shit or things that are beyond your control.” (He said a version of this more then once.)
“Communication isn’t what is said, it is what is received.” (I really like this one.)
#12 comes across as a happy, good natured, well-adjusted guy. We had an easy conversation, as though we had known each other before. I related to a lot of what he said, even though we have taken almost opposite paths in life.
I quizzed him on this. He told me that although taking the ‘safe’ path has lead him to have a great life, a great job, living in a city he loves… he does wonder what else is out there for him. A wife and family? A different city of residence? A different career? He is in no hurry to make any of these decisions, but they definitely loom large. For him and for me.
One thing Seth knows for sure. He wants to travel more (me too!). He has been to 20 plus baseball stadiums in America and plans to see them all. He has never traveled much internationally. But that is about to change.
Seth’s drama department has been invited to participate in the Fridge Festival in Edinburgh later this summer to put on a show! This is a huge honor for Seth, the kids and the department. Way to go Seth!
I’ve met Doctor Seth Cohen(s) and Accountant Seth Cohen(s), Lawyer Seth Cohen(s) and Financial Planner Seth Cohen(s)… but there is something about Drama Teacher Seth Cohen. It might not be the most glamorous job, but it’s a fun job, Seth is passionate about theater and he makes a difference in a lot of kids lives every year.
Seth seems to really enjoy his life. He seems content. However I did get the sense of his longing for something different… something more. But maybe I was just projecting.
#12’s grandfather was once treated by… Dr Seth Cohen.
And so there you have it. That my friends, is the story of another Seth Cohen. We had a swell time, I visited Redondo Beach for the first time and #12 really gave me something to think about. He also bought me a burger and I even got to participate in his super fun #PeopleBehindSeth project. Thanks Seth!
It has been nearly six months, and three thousand miles, since my last Seth Cohen meeting.
I am back in California, where I lived happily until my life took a turn for the chaotic nearly four years ago. Since that time I have experienced wild, inspiring adventures and dark, difficult times. I have spent nights soaking in natural hot springs deep in California’s Ventana Wilderness, and found and ‘rescued’ a lost 8-year-old boy in that same forest – both on my birthday. I spent time in Portland Oregon, New York City, Connecticut, Philadelphia, Boston, and New Hampshire. I became an uncle for the 4th time, and watched my father continue his slow progression to ill health. I battled with my own health issues, and perhaps most starkly, my own uncertainty about my future and my place in this world. Oh… and I also met nearly a dozen guys who share my same name.
And now I am back. Back in California and back to meeting my namesakes. I still don’t know where I am headed, but one foot in front of the other… and I am going to find out.
Seth Cohen #11 is a friendly, compassionate and well-spoken Seth Cohen. He has honed his powers of communication over many years of difficult conversations with patients. Yes, #11 is one of the many Dr. Seth Cohen(s) in Southern California.
Some people live to work, and some work to live. Seth Cohen #11 lives to work, and he doesn’t see that as a bad thing. Seth is sincere in his desire to help people. He believes deeply in making life as meaningful as possible.
“How do we make life meaningful Seth Cohen?”
“Every day is a gift. Live life to it’s fullest. Love your family. Help those around you. Help your fellow man.”
Seth Cohen believes in the golden rule. He also believes in dressing to impress. “Dress to inspire confidence” he told me as I quietly smiled to myself, glad that I had opted for the sport coat this fine Southern Californian morning (which had been debated over in my early morning fog).
Seth is very troubled by what he sees as senseless tragedy, and being a doctor he is surrounded by it regularly. Good people suffering. Young people dying. He has resigned himself to the fact that some things just don’t have explanations, and perhaps, it is not for us to know why these things happen at all. But he feels compelled to help.
That is why he became a doctor.
Seth Cohen sees similarities between the interpersonal connections found in medicine and in the dramatic arts. In each of these settings, very personal, very intimate, very powerful relationships develop. “Like a strong, moving literary piece, musical composition, or documentary can change someone’s view or impact someone’s understanding, so do the relationships between physicians and patients frequently change us, as we work to be the best we can be, for those we care for.”
But even art can’t explain tragedy, and doctors can’t escape it. It is at these times that #11 looks to his hero for inspiration. Seth’s grandfather has passed on, but he remains a big part of Seth’s life and motivation.
He was a Holocaust survivor, living through a harrowing and unthinkable series of events before making it to safety. “Even in those very dark days, he looked within and found the will, the courage to carry on and to battle. As the world crumbled around him, he bravely fought back. He did not give in.” And if his grandfather could forge ahead in the face of that tragedy, Seth would hope he can muster even a small amount of similar resolve. “I constantly learn from his story, even though I have heard it so many times. It remains at the core of who I am.”
And if #11 can forge ahead despite what he sees every day as a doctor, surely I can forge ahead despite the obstacles and challenges I face. Right? Right.
Seth Cohen #11 once attended a medical conference in Virginia and at check in was told that he had already checked in. This, of course, was a case of mistaken Seth Cohen identity. Which seems to be a problem us SCs face regularly. After straightening out the fact that there were two Dr. Seth Cohen(s) at the conference, #11 tracked down, and befriended, the other Seth Cohen. Despite now living and practicing on opposite coasts, these two Seth Cohen(s) remain friends to this day.
Seth Cohen #11 wasn’t “extremely cool and hip” in his younger years, so he was pretty happy when Adam Brody made being Seth Cohen, and being “a little geeky,” socially desirable. He was quite happy to share this semi-unique name with a guy from the OC (after all, #11 grew up nearby).
Seth’s worldview, humility and sincere sense of duty to his fellow man was truly refreshing and inspiring. He is also just a really nice guy. We had a great time together and will stay in touch.
And with that, I am one step closer to… something.
Seth Cohen #10 is not camera shy; he is not shy at all in fact. He does however work in the highly regulated field of financial services. Therefore, rather then confront the arduous task of getting this story approved by his company’s compliance officers we decided to simply obscure his face. You will just have to take my word for it - Seth Cohen is a handsome man, and a sharp dressed fellow to boot.
Seth enjoys his work in financial services, and he should, it took him almost forty years, including close to twelve years of higher education, to settle on it as a career.
Seth had a happy childhood in Philadelphia, PA, with his loving parents and brother. Growing up #10 knew of only two other kids with the name Seth. Amazingly, they were both named Seth Cohen! Three kids, about the same age, living in the same area of PA, all family friends, all named Seth Cohen. Mind boggling. Seth Cohen #10 lost track of them years ago, but perhaps I can track them down for him.
When it came time for college, Seth ventured just a bit down Rt-95 to Washington, DC, to attend George Washington University. After undergrad, his quest to find a profession that he would be happy with got interesting. First, he attended University of Pittsburg and completed all the course-work for a PhD in biological anthropology. When he realized that that was not what he wanted to spend his life doing, he didn’t stick around to get the degree. Boston University was next, for dual masters-degree programs in social work and public health.
Seth has been in greater Boston ever since, but his quest was not yet over. For a time, a full seven years, he settled into working as a medical researcher doing statistical analysis. Then, once again, he decided he wanted a change and he went off to law-school at Northeastern. He is now a lawyer, but he doesn’t practice law. Soon after law-school a friend recruited him to work in financial services, and he has been doing it ever since. Seth admits that sooner or later you just need to pick something and stick with it, but feels fortunate that he truly enjoys the career he finally landed on, and it suits him well. At the age of 43, with a wife and young son, he expects there will be no more career changes in his future.
‘Don’t try to make up for lost time’ is the best advice he’s ever gotten, and it is good advice indeed. Seth does have some misgivings about time gone by. He thinks about what he could have been doing differently as the years ticked away, but he has no regrets. He never saw the point in sticking with something that he didn’t like and he knows that his winding path has led him to where he is today. And he likes where he is today. He likes his job, and he loves his family. He knows that if he hadn’t moved to Boston to pursue that degree in social work, he would have never met his wife, or made all the great friends he has in the area, or found his way to his ultimate career in financial services.
‘Everybody at some point has ended up at a place they didn’t expect – but it turned out to be exactly where they were supposed to be,’ he told me. So true, Seth Cohen! In fact, that is one of the main underpinnings of my whole project.
Just last week I did an interview with a local Boston area newspaper and was asked why I was doing this project. I first explained that I was at a point in my life where I was unsure of ‘what’s next’ and that instead of sitting around getting frustrated, I decided to venture out into the world, seek some adventure, chase some windmills and perhaps ‘find myself’ in the process. I then laid this little ditty on my interviewer:
The best-laid plans can go awry, even the most ‘practical’ ones… so you might as well plan for something that will make you happy. The path might not lead exactly where you expected, it rarely does, but if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, it will lead you where you are supposed to be. It is easier said then done, I know, I really really know, but I also know that wherever it leads, it will be somewhere better then if you had never ventured down the path.
At the age of 37, I am not exactly sure what my own future holds, and so I found it fascinating that #10 had shifted gears so many times and was about 37 himself before he finally landed on his ultimate career path. I agree with my namesake that you can’t try to make up for lost time, but I was curious, had he never become frustrated, disillusioned even? Seth told me that at various times he became ‘dissatisfied,’ and that is when he would move on to something new, but that he was never ‘unhappy.’ He believes in being happy in the moment. Even when working towards something different for the future, you must find enjoyment in the present.
And find enjoyment Seth does. In addition to his work and being a devoted family man, Seth Cohen likes to rock-n-roll! Throughout his life, Seth has been in rock and punk bands. Every Wednesday night, Seth gets together with his current band mates and they rock out. It brings him great joy. It’s an opportunity to tune out the world for a couple hours and just have some fun. Seth told me that he never gets enough sleep those nights, but he is always in a great mood the next day.
‘Did you ever consider pursuing music as a career?’
‘Never once.’
Seeing how passionate Seth is about music, this was somewhat surprising to me. He explained to me that he never wanted to compromise his music in order to make money off of it. ‘If you aren’t trying to make money, you can do whatever you want.’
This really struck me. I completely understand where he is coming from. This has been a central struggle of my life. Working in a creative field myself, media, I have long tried to balance passion and art with making a living. I have had some great creative successes in my life, and I have had some great financial successes – but never have the two corresponded. In fact, trying to find that sweet spot in the middle, where I am both creatively fulfilled and financially rewarded at the same time, has been the central struggle for me for many years now. Perhaps the whole premise of my pursuit has been flawed? Perhaps I have been chasing my tail?
I don’t have some great epiphany to share, but chatting with #10 about his winding career search, ‘lost’ time and balancing creative and financial pursuits certainly gave me a lot to think about.
Sensing these parallels between our lives, I asked Seth to sum it all up for me. He’s done a lot of living, and has found himself, finally, both ‘satisfied’ and ‘happy.’ How so?
Seth shared with me some advice that he plans to impart to his young son when the time is right. ‘Don’t do things simply because they are expected of you. Think about how you will feel ten years down the road, and make your own decisions accordingly.’ I feel like I have heard this before.
‘Good people around you. Family. Friends. Community. Good people. That’s what matters most. That’s what creates happiness.’ I feel like I’ve heard this one before as well.
I’m listening Seth Cohen. I’m listening.
Meeting my namesakes is a true pleasure. However this project is about so much more. It is about living in the world, not just on it; connecting with people I would never otherwise connect with, visiting places I would never otherwise visit and experiencing things I would never otherwise experience.
Which is why I was ridiculously excited to connect with Seth Cohen #9 and attend my very first National Bridge Tournament!
Seth Cohen #9 grew up in Queens, New York, just like a seemingly disproportionate number of other Seth Cohen(s). Queens is also a place I called home for a few years when I first moved to NYC after college. Maybe it’s something in the water there? Growing up, Seth was unsure about his future plans, but he knew he wanted to spend his life ‘playing with numbers.’ Which is why he found his way to the University of Pennsylvania, and then onto Los Angeles to start a career as a tax accountant.
Being a tax accountant might not sound like the sexiest of careers, but #9 truly enjoys his work. He gets to play with numbers all day, and it gives him the mental stimulation he desires. So much so that he has a bit of trepidation about ever retiring. While he looks forward to cutting back his work schedule, he is not sure he would want to stop working entirely, because he craves that mental stimulation.
After some years in Los Angeles, Seth’s company opened a new office in Connecticut, and he was transferred. He settled in Stamford, CT, although he still maintains a second residence in the hills of LA. He spends a week here and there, as well as the bulk of the winter months, telecommuting from his LA home. No matter where he is though, he considers himself a life-long New Yorker.
Seth’s profession is not the only way he has fulfilled his goal of ‘playing with numbers.’ The game of bridge is all about numbers. Seth Cohen #9 is an active competitive bridge player. His parents were both bridge players and Seth began learning the game at the tender age of three.
My maternal grandmother was a bridge player, and my own mother has dabbled in the past, I however had never been exposed to the game… until now.
Bridge is an extremely complicated game; it takes years to build even a basic proficiency. It requires an extraordinary amount of mental fortitude, memorization and most of all, unbreakable concentration.
I did some research online prior to my visit, Seth Cohen #9 patiently tried to explain the game to me and then I watched hours of competition. I still don’t understand the game, at all. I do however have a new-found appreciation for the skill and dedication it takes to master it, and even more so, a new-found appreciation, a sense of awe even, for the subculture of competitive bridge players.
The bridge circuit is not what I expected. First, it is wildly popular. Seth informed me that bridge tournaments book more days in convention centers around the country then any other type of event. There is a fair share of aging white males, which is what I expected, but labeling the game that way would be an injustice.
#9 began describing the scene to me over lunch, but it wasn’t until we arrived at the tournament venue, the Providence, RI Convention Center, that it began to sink in. As we mingled through the crowd, Seth leaned over and pointed out the stars of the show. ‘That graying old guy is one of the greatest Italian players in history.’ ‘That kid over there is the best young French player in the game.’ ‘See that guy over there, he is the former billionaire head of Bear Stearns.’
‘Wait, billionaire?’
Yes, as it turns out, in addition to the aging, average American white guys, there is an unexpectedly large group of hedge-fund managers, stockbrokers and just generally RICH folks who are incredibly passionate about bridge. They fly in on their private jets to compete and spend millions chasing the competition. Bill Gates plays, and even shows up at many of these public tournaments. Warren Buffet too.
Bridge is played in teams, or sometimes pairs. There is no prize money at stake, just bragging rights. And so these exorbitantly wealthy individuals, known as ‘clients’ or ‘sponsors,’ who are accustomed to winning at whatever they do, will hire professional ringers to play on their team, or in their pair, for the sole purpose of getting a higher national ranking.
These professional bridge players are not what you would expect. Many are young. Many are good looking. Many are well dressed. And they come from around the world – Finland and Italy, Spain and Asia.
And. They. Get. Paid.
The top ‘pros’ can easily pull in a couple hundred thousand dollars just to compete with their ‘sponsor’ in the national tournaments. That means they are playing bridge for six weeks or so a year and making a quarter-million dollars. The rest of the year they are free to do as they like, and they often rack up tens or hundreds of thousands more playing in private tournaments, or even in private homes. The rich ‘clients’ will pay them to come to their homes and play bridge, with stakes, where the ‘pros’ will take their money. The ‘clients’ believe it will make them better bridge players, they want to compete against the best of the best and they enjoy the challenge.
Every other year there is a World Championship Tournament, where teams must qualify by country. And so, one multi-billionaire has paid two pairs of the best bridge players in the world to move full-time to Monaco, so they can qualify for the ‘Worlds’ as residents. This gentleman was at the tournament. He had very nice boots.
Oh, and by the way… there are also some stunningly attractive young ladies who play competitive bridge. Who knew?
I heard stories of ‘clients’ and ‘pros’ perhaps becoming more then simply bridge partners. I heard stories of nefarious tactics being employed. I heard lots of stories. I can’t stress this enough, the world of competitive bridge players is not what you think. Not at all.
Incredibly, Seth Cohen #9 is not the only competitive bridge-playing Seth Cohen. There is another, from Brooklyn NY, who often gets confused for #9. Many times over the years, Seth Cohen has tried to check-in to his hotel at tournaments only to be told that he had already checked-in. Nope, that was yet another Seth Cohen!
There was also another Seth Cohen, much younger then #9, who used to work for his same company, in another division, at another location. #9 occasionally got emails for the other asking, ‘Where is the party tonight!?!’ 57-year-old Seth would reply that they had the wrong guy, but that he was down to party!
Seth Cohen #9 is single, never married and at this point has no intention to. He likes his freedom. He likes his ability to do what he wants, when he wants. ‘As a mathematician, my life is based on logic’ he told me. ‘And I don’t want to spend my time negotiating with illogical people.’ Even mathematicians have a sense of humor.
Seth has however created a community. He has great friends, both in Connecticut and Los Angeles. He has also been playing bridge with the same partner for FORTY-ONE YEARS! They met in college and have been playing together since. They argue, as would be expected in any forty-plus year partnership. Seth is a fast walker and a slow eater. His bridge partner, Richard, is a slow walker and a fast eater. I truly enjoyed my time with them in Providence RI, a place I had never spent any real time, and where together we savored a dinner of fine French cuisine.
Seth has also become a second father of sorts to some of his young cousins. One in particular, the grandson of his first cousin, will be moving in with him in Los Angeles when he graduates college this December. He is going to try his hand at acting. Seth, ever the logical one, tries to mentor him and impart his wisdom. Acting is not the most practical of pursuits, but ‘you will never know unless you try.’
‘So, Seth, what is the biggest challenge you have faced in life?’
‘Life itself is the challenge,’ he replied. Seth Cohen #9 is always up for a challenge, a chance for mental stimulation. Unless of course it’s in golf, he’s a hacker at golf.
It was a pleasure and a treat to meet Seth Cohen #9, learn about him and about the crazy world of competitive bridge. As has been the case with each Seth Cohen, I know that I’ll never look at the world quite the same again. And that my friends, that is the point.
Some guys have all the luck.
Seth Cohen has lived a fortunate life.
Born on a small island off the coast of Manhattan, Governor’s Island, which was at the time a military installation, Seth Cohen #8 soon moved with his family to Albany, in upstate New York. There he would spend his formative years traipsing through forests and fields, catching snakes and turtles and small reptiles of every variety. Seth felt at home in nature, still does, and so there was never even a sliver of a doubt, Seth Cohen would be a biologist.
Knowing exactly what his future held, Seth didn’t feel the need to consult the college counselor when he arrived at State University in Western New York. This is why he failed to take a required 101 course that most-all freshmen complete during their first semester. This was perhaps one of the most fortunate mishaps of his life. Seth was then forced to take the class during the spring, which was when he got his first glimpse of a 16-year-old, bubble gum chewing overachieving city girl, who had matriculated that semester after finishing high school early.
A few semesters later that young girl had matured into an impressive young lady, and she and her friend stopped by Seth’s room to ‘borrow a book.’ The friend said to her, ‘you should be dating a nice guy like Seth Cohen.’ And so she did. Seth is unsure whether there was ever really a book to be borrowed, but he is not complaining. 30 something years later he is just grateful he failed to take that course and was therefore fortunate enough to meet the love of his life, and the mother of his children.
Continuing on his inevitable path, #8 followed his by-then fiancée to Georgia for grad school, then onto Massachusetts for post-grad and to start a family. And that is how #8 found his way to the suburbs of Boston, where I myself spent my formative years, and where today two Seth Cohen(s) met for a hike into Sen Ki (Land of Stone).
Seth is as passionate about nature as he ever was, as I am. He hikes regularly, as I do. It is a lovely, brisk morning, cold for November, but wearing my Long John’s and excited to be meeting another namesake, it didn’t bother me in the least as we walked and talked.
#8 shares his birthday with one of his brothers, two years his junior. What’s more, they both share their birthday with their grandmother. It’s a big day for the Cohen family! Seth admitted to being a bit perturbed that he had to share a birthday cake with his brother growing up, but it seems to me if that is one of the bigger misfortunes in your life, you are doing pretty well. Seth has three daughters, whom he adores, the younger two being twins therefor also share a birthday. They each get their own cake though.
#8’s brother, Brett, works with a guy named… Seth Cohen! (#6)
Seth has been laid-off three times in his otherwise successful career, including just recently, as big corporations bought up smaller upstart companies and rejiggered the corporate structure and culture. The first time this happened, Seth, with his three young children, felt a certain sense of dread. However a friend told him to be calm, that something even better was going to come along. And it did. Looking back, #8 is clear that each time he was let go he found his way to a new situation with new challenges that reinvigorated his passion for his work, and led to bigger and better opportunities. To my surprise, even now as an aging man temporarily out of the work force, he is confidant that this will once again be the case, and he is enjoying his time off. He hikes almost daily. He goes to coffee shops and reads the paper. He goes to the public library and leafs through periodicals. He romanticizes these simple activities that he has never had time for in the past, and he is enjoying every minute.
Seth does look forward to getting back to work though. Seth loves his work. He sees working in biotechnology and the pharmaceutical industry as his way of making a difference in the world. He is saving lives, literally. And he is practicing the biology that has been the focus of his life since his days collecting critters in Albany as a child.
It would be impossible for me to recount in this space the countless topics we hit on during our hours of conversation…
We talked about the Human Microbiome Project, something I have been fascinated by for years, but have never had the pleasure of discussing with an actual microbiologist. We humans are 90% non-human, and it wasn’t until 2012 that scientists had mapped the microbes and bacteria that make up a healthy human body. Now that they have, they are racing towards discoveries and treatments for countless disorders and diseases for which we did not know the causes until now.
We talked about scuba diving, something that I have longed dreamed of immersing myself in and something that, along with mountain biking and skiing, Seth is very active in. He has a close group of friends, many he has known since high school, that he spends precious time with undertaking these activities.
We talked about our mutual affinity for the work of Nikola Tesla; probably the most underappreciated scientist, inventor, creator in history. #8 is a proud owner of a Tesla car, much of the technology for which was originally developed by its namesake and promptly buried by big corporations and governments, which had a vested interest in the status quo. A phenomenon Seth has first hand knowledge of through his years in the pharmaceutical industry.
And we talked about so much more: religion, his becoming a grandfather, ancestry, the environment and the evil Koch brothers, and on and on. But no matter what topic we hit on, I couldn’t find a kink in his armor. When I asked Seth about the biggest adversities and challenges in his life, he truly struggled to come up with any beyond the relatively mundane – raising twins, finishing his post-doctoral work and the like.
I consider myself a rather fortunate person, but I have faced adversities. My struggles with severe dyslexia, my struggles with a rare digestive disorder that haunts me to this day, growing up with a father in poor health, never really knowing 3 of my 4 grandparents, finding my place in the world, my boom and bust career struggles, my weird obsession with finding my namesakes. Ok, that last one was a joke, but I have had my share of issues. Seth Cohen #8 has not. He knew what he wanted to do in life from an early age, and has done exactly that, never having a single second thought. He is financially successful. He has hobbies that he loves and has the ability to pursue. His parents are both sill alive and healthy. He met his wife early in life and has never looked back. He has loving daughters and now granddaughters…
Seth Cohen knows he is a fortunate guy, lucky even.
Now I understand some things in life are beyond our control, and many people face true tragedy well beyond anything I have experienced, but on the other hand it doesn’t sit well with me to attribute Seth’s fortune in life to luck.
‘So what is it Seth, what is your secret?’
‘Family. Friends. Community’ was his answer.
From his loving parents and brothers, to his wife whom he has been with ‘since Jimmy Carter was in office’ to his daughters – family has played a key role in his life. He feels especially fortunate for his wife. They balance each other and have built a fantastic life together. Add to this his friends, with whom he goes on great adventures, talks to and emails near daily and with whom he shares a true sense of community – this he tells me is the secret to his good fortune.
I have very loving and supportive parents, who are thankfully still alive, and a brother, and nieces and a nephew who are amazing. And I have great friends, though we are spread across the country and the world and don’t get to see each other as often as I would like - but I am not sure I could honestly say I have found or built a real community. And I definitely have yet to start a family of my own…
Perhaps it’s time to get cracking. Seth Cohen #8’s example cannot be ignored.
‘Seth Cohen? Did you just rent my cabin in the Catskills?’
I arrived, or thought I arrived at least, to the address where I was to meet Seth Cohen #7. I was looking for a coffee shop, what I found was a brick wall. In the very moment I realized I was lost, I heard my name from above.
‘Seth Cohen?’
Looking up to see what I assumed to be #7 poking his head from a second story landing, I replied:
‘Hi Seth.’
‘Did you just rent my cabin in the Catskills?’ was his answer.
I guess it is true what they say. There really is a Seth Cohen around every corner. This was in fact not #7. Or any Seth Cohen at all. This gentleman had been watering his plants in the windowsill, and by perchance noticed me standing below. More pertinently, he noticed my nametag. Amazingly, he had recently rented his cabin to an unknown fellow, Seth Cohen. Seeing me standing below, he made the obvious assumption. However, in this case, the obvious assumption didn’t tell half the story. I am in fact Seth Cohen, and I am in fact here to meet another Seth Cohen. But neither of us has rented a cabin in the Catskills recently, or ever. That apparently is another, yet unknown, Seth Cohen.
The fine gent came down to the street. We had a laugh at the coincidence and absurdity of the situation. He took my information and promised to put me in touch with Catskills Seth Cohen. He gave me directions to where I was supposed to be (right place, one street off) and I was off. I really do love wearing a nametag.
#7 is another fascinating guy. Born in London, raised in DC, now a true New Yorker. He is in a relationship, for 16 years now, with no plans for marriage. No plans for children.
My own parents were engaged for 12 years, but there was always a plan for marriage eventually. #7 is simply not the marrying type. He loves his girlfriend, life-partner, significant other, whatever you want to call someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with but have no intention of making it official in the eyes of the authorities. That’s just the way he rolls.
#7 thanked me for not murdering him.
Together we teased out the slasher-flick version of my project, where I am consumed by the desire to be the one and only Seth Cohen. Enraged by others stealing my uniqueness. So I set off on a journey to meet, and kill, each and every Seth Cohen in the world. One by one. Despite his sneaking suspicion that I may be an axe murderer, #7 was quite enthusiastic about meeting me.
‘I tend to go to dark places’ he informed me as he probed my psyche, searching for my own dark place. Politics? The environment? Ebola AKA the Zombie Apocalypse? We are living in the age of the global pandemic, again, he informed me. But none of these issues could get me down, not today. It’s not that I haven’t ventured to these dark corners, not that I haven’t on occasion allowed myself to linger in said dark places, but now I have a mission. A purpose. ‘I’ve been there’ I tell him, but I have made a conscious choice to ‘jump on the elevator back to the top floor.’ The hopeless political situation in our country, the very real changes we humans are causing the environment, disease, suffering, exploitation, anger, hate, these things effect me. They affect me greatly. And if I allowed, these things would consume me. That is why I am here today, chatting with #7. I have chosen a different path.
As we touched on each of these ‘big’ topics, I relaxed into a comfortable conversation. A conversation you would have with an old friend. We talked music. We talked education. We talked religion. We talked dyslexia (something we share).
Seth Cohen is an artist, a non-profit art professional, a curator and uses his creative and aesthetic talents in various for-profit pursuits. First and foremost though, Seth is an artist. And a thinker.
‘If you go on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. One for your enemy and one for yourself.’
True enough.
‘Give your enemy a golden bridge with which to retreat.’
‘That sounds like one of the two key pieces of advice I remember from adolescence’ I said. ‘If you back an animal into a corner, prepare for it to fight it’s way out.’
‘Same idea’ he agreed. ‘What is the second piece of advice?’
‘When someone gives you a compliment, just say thank you.’ My high school ceramics teacher was responsible for that one. She would compliment whatever I was working on, and I would deflect. ‘It’s not that good. It’s kinda funny looking.’ What I didn’t understand at the time was that when someone compliments you, it is actually insulting to them to disregard their opinion. Just say thank you. Great advice.
#7 had actually got the exact same advice from a former employer. He wholeheartedly agrees. In fact, we agree on most things.
I was disappointed as our time together was ending. We spoke of a repeat performance. We spoke of getting a beer. And we hugged. The first SC on SC hug of the journey! I’m not sure how it happened, it just happened. Seth made me promise, pinkie promise, to meet all Seth Cohen(s) in public places. No basements. No tragic and infamous ending to my project. If I am not the axe murderer Seth Cohen… he is still out there…
Seth Cohen is a guy I would like to get a beer with.
‘Nobody wants to be defined by their profession,’ Seth Cohen #6 said to me as we sat in a coffee shop near his Midtown Manhattan office.
If a man is not defined by his profession, what is he defined by?
#6 and I both strive to be defined by something other then our “jobs”, but is this true for all men (and women)? It occurs to me that some people are very happy to be defined by their work. I am a doctor. I am a social worker. I am a world traveling photojournalist. While some people may choose to define themselves by something other. I am an intellectual. I am a romantic. I am a concerned citizen.
I am Seth Cohen (or one of them anyway).
Seth Cohen is a family man. Seth Cohen is a sports fan. Seth Cohen is a community leader. Seth Cohen is an avid fisherman. And… Seth Cohen is a legal consultant, specializing in risk and compliance.
There was a time when #6 wanted to be defined by his profession. Graduating law school, Seth took a job as an Assistant District Attorney in the Bronx. He wanted to fight the good fight, be in public service and stand up for the little guy. And he did. And he felt fulfilled.
But then Seth wanted something more. He wanted a family.
Above all else, #6 defines himself as a family man. Interestingly, he is the fifth out of six SCs I have met so far who is a devoted family man. Seth went into the private sector when his desire to have a family outweighed his desire to define himself by his profession. ‘Having a child changes a man’s priorities.’
Seth still tries to do good professionally. His role in ‘risk and compliance’ has him working with multinational companies, instituting best practices and structures that protect the integrity of the company, the integrity of the employees, clients, customers and the world-at-large. But these days, it is the integrity of Seth’s family unit that is most important.
Seth’s paternal grandfather was an enthusiastic fisherman. Seth’s father is an enthusiastic fisherman. Seth, his brothers, his wife and his young children are all enthusiastic fishermen and women. Once a year, every year, the entire extended family goes to Key West for a fishing trip. To join the family, potential spouses are vetted on the open seas. The children are indoctrinated. No one escapes the wrath of seasickness. Seth promises that from here on out they will stick to calm waters. That one visit with the dizzies are necessary though. It’s a family right of passage.
#6 works with a guy whose brother’s name is Seth Cohen.
‘Look people in the eye.’ Seth considers himself a people-person, but his wife still must remind him to ‘look people in the eye.’ Seth knows she is right. It shows openness, engagement and disarms whomever you are speaking with. But she still must remind him. As Seth expands on this simple but valuable advice, panic strikes. Have I been making eye contact? I pride myself on being present and connected when having a conversation. It is in fact my top priority when meeting a new Seth Cohen. As I take deep breaths and prepare myself for each meet, I remind myself that above all else, this project is about just that… connecting, being present, engaging. But now as #6 espouses the virtues of eye contact, I have no idea if I myself have been making eye contact. What’s more, I am absolutely positive that I am now making way too much eye contact!
I had expected #6 to be a stuffy middle-aged lawyer-type, even after #2 crushed my expectations for what a Midtown Manhattan Lawyer should, could or would be. However #6 is a warm, friendly, fun-loving guy. Smart. Jovial. Interesting. His profession certainly does not define him. And as I think back on a week’s worth of SCs, I can’t think of a single one who would choose to be defined by his job, nor a single one who I would think to define in that way. Perhaps I am wrong that some people do choose to be defined by their profession? Perhaps it is a life’s work, not profession, which defines a man? Sometimes ones work and profession are synonymous, sometimes they are not. A man’s work includes not just what he does when he is on the clock…
It is fascinating what happens when you wear a nametag around New York City, as I have been doing for a few days now. On the streets, in the subway, into various establishments, people know your name. You are no longer an anonymous stranger in a dark city. You are a real person. You have a name. Pretty girls crack a smile; big intimidating New Yorkers nod their head. Some daring types even offer a ‘hello Seth.’ As I was standing on a downtown street corner checking my phone, one guy rushed by ‘Seth! You forgot to take your nametag off.’ For a split second I was insulted. But this guy wasn’t making fun of me. He legitimately thought it was an oversight, and he was trying to spare me the embarrassment. Little did he know it was completely intentional. And that rather then being embarrassed, I was delighted with the results. But while all those other people just thought it was funny, this guy actually tried to help me - a stranger with a name. While this is easily dismissible as a whimsical fancy, after the last couple days I truly believe the world would be a happier, friendlier, safer place if everyone wore a nametag. Always.
Six SCs into my journey, meeting every Seth Cohen in the world doesn’t seem like such a whimsical fancy anymore either. I still don’t know what I am going to find, but I have found so much already. Each Seth Cohen has defied my preconceived notions. Each Seth Cohen has been fascinating and multifaceted. I have connected with each of them and found each to have depth of character, stories to tell and insights to share. They are real people. They have a name. They have my name. And they are defined not by their careers, or even by the words they speak. They are defined by the lives they have led and the work they have done – regardless if that work is rocket science or raising a family.
Each Seth Cohen is like looking at a funhouse mirror. I see pieces of me in each. Some good, some bad. Perhaps if I meet enough, the distortion will snap into focus?
Seth Cohen #5 broke the pattern. He is the first Seth Cohen I have met that is not a family man. #5 is single, never married, no kids. Like me.
#5 lives in New York City, as I have done off and on for a combined 10 years or so. #5 works as a creative in the advertising business, which is not so different then my own past work in the media world. #5 is in his late 30s, as am I.
Seth Cohen seems a lot like me.
Seth Cohen once dated a girl whose brother’s name was… Seth Cohen. It was a short-lived relationship, but one memorable by Seth’s sense of responsibility. Seth didn’t want this young lady to have a negative association with the name Seth Cohen, her very own brother’s name. Anyone who has a former girlfriend or boyfriend or best friend with whom they had a particular nasty split, knows the feeling of now having a negative association with their name. So #4 went out of his way to be a stand-up gentleman. It didn’t help the relationship, but perhaps it spared the young lady some grief.
#5 plays poker with a group of guys who have another SC in their social circle. They have yet to meet like two Seth Cohen(s) passing in the night. I will have to rectify this.
Seth Cohen is an artist. Seth Cohen volunteers with kids. Seth Cohen is an avid tennis player. Seth Cohen believes that being creative is problem solving.
#5’s middle name is Allen. My middle name is Adam. We are both Seth A Cohen. Or, perhaps to some… SAC. I have always hated my initials. To this day I have a couple friends who insist on calling me ‘SAC.’ Shudder. But Seth Allen Cohen has no qualms with his initials. He kinda likes them even.
As we sipped our lunchtime beers, we discussed the creative process, being single, getting older, watching your parents age. Seth loves New York City, but concedes that Miami, where he was born, and where his family still resides, may be in his future. Again, that sense of responsibility.
One could be forgiven if nearing 40, being single, not having kids, they might feel a bit let down. But I didn’t sense even a hint of this from #5. He loves kids, spending a few weekends a month teaching them about art. He dates regularly, finding online dating ‘fun’ and ‘necessary’ in a city such as New York. He wonders if it is easier to meet people through more conventional means in other cities, but he loves New York. He enjoys his job. He’s got a nice life.
What does the future hold for #5? Hopefully it includes a wife and kids someday. It may include a different city of residence. It may include different professional and creative pursuits. It may include a lot of things. #5 doesn’t know what the futures holds, but he is 100% at peace with that. Excited even. Seth Cohen follows opportunities as they come. Seth Cohen is happy in the moment.
‘It’s kind of cliché.’
‘Clichés are cliché for a reason.’
‘Believe in yourself.’
Seth’s parents have taught him well. Seth doesn’t compare his own life to others. There will always be someone that is better at this or better at that, someone who has a nicer this, or a nicer that. You can’t keep up with the Joneses, so don’t try. Live your own life and be the best you can be. Perhaps this is why Seth has such a positive outlook on life and the future? Perhaps that cliché his parents drilled into him as a child has truly served him well?
Seth Cohen is the best Seth Cohen he can be, and his future is wide open.
Seth Cohen was a stutterer. Not just your run of the mill stutterer either. The kind of stuttering they write case studies on. The kind that could define a lifetime. Throughout adolescence, high school and into college, Seth Cohen #4 could barely speak on the phone. Speaking at all was a challenge. All the various therapies were tried, nothing really helped.
And then one day Seth’s mother saw a ‘20/20’ news report about a breakthrough new treatment program. Seth went to this program where they retaught him to speak. Thirty days later, after a lifetime of stuttering, Seth spoke near perfectly. Better then most actually, as the only remaining hint of his past affliction is an added emphasis on pronunciation, something the rest of us could pay more attention to.
To be completely honest, there is one more lingering effect of his past… an extraordinary will to live. Seth Cohen doesn’t just live, Seth Cohen lives!
What does one do after overcoming a childhood of stuttering and struggling to speak on the phone? Find a job that requires you to speak on the phone as much as possible. Bask in the joy of what once seemed impossible. And start a career at the same time, a very successful career in international banking and finance. A career that will have you living in London and Singapore for three years each. A career that will allow you to start a family and live a pleasant life.
But a pleasant life is not enough for this Seth Cohen. Perhaps, or, most likely as a result of his past, #4 has become a man of destiny. A man of his own destiny to be exact. Seth Cohen is a huge proponent of the philosophies of Ayn Rand. Specifically the idea that we create our own destinies. Shape your world, don’t be shaped by it.
Seth Cohen practices what he preaches.
Seth Cohen has been to seventy-seven countries, some numerous times. ‘We collect experiences in foreign countries like some people collect stamps.’
Seth Cohen lives a healthy life. He starts every day with fresh made fruit and vegetable juice, and is an avid cyclist.
Seth Cohen is active in the non-profit world, donating his time to worthy causes.
Seth Cohen is an anagram for ‘The Chosen.’ Something I incredibly spent 37 years of life unaware of. It is somehow unsurprising that it was #4 who filled me in.
Seth Cohen is a devoted and loving family man. When his children were young they had family dinner almost every night, and the rule of the house was that everyone had to bring a current event to the table for discussion. His children’s friends knew that if they were having dinner at the Cohen’s house, they too would need to bring a topic for discussion. This is just one way Seth insured that his family stay close, and stay active members of society at large. Shape your world, don’t be shaped by it.
When #4 decided that to shape the future he saw for himself, he would need to go into business for himself, he gathered the family. This was a family decision after all. Seth was about to walk away from a very solid position with a very solid company, one that he liked very much, to venture into the unknown. He explained to them his plan, why he was doing it and how it would affect them. The family had concerns, as would be expected, but when all was said and done, Seth had made his case, knew the risks and won the family approval.
Going into business for oneself, something I have plenty of experience in for better and worse, is never easy. But this is one Seth Cohen I would never bet against. After the expected rocky start-up period, #4 is now a thriving self-employed master of his own domain. He travels the world with his loving wife. He talks on the phone, a lot. He sends his daughter, who is now in college, a short video almost every day to make sure she feels connected to home and loved. He and his wife even have a dream to one day begin spending a couple months a year living in a different city. They call it their ‘nine Sundays plan.’ Suffice to say, the sky is the limit for this Seth Cohen.
#4 tells me that passion isn’t just about activities it’s about ideas.
#4 tells me to picture myself at age 95 and ask myself two very important questions: Who will be there with me, and what will be in my mind? Regrets of things I did? Or of the things I didn’t do? Let these two questions be a guiding principal. Seth was first introduced to this teaching by the well-known leadership coach Marshall Goldsmith, and has indeed made it a guiding principal in his own life.
I told Seth about my own struggles as a youngster. When I was 8 years old they told my parents that I would never learn to read or write (if it existed at the time, they could have added, ‘will never become a blogger’). I have dyslexia. And no run of the mill dyslexia, severe dyslexia. We discussed facing extreme struggles early in life and how it prepares you for the struggles to come. Learning what hard work truly is. But as I reflect on #4’s incredible journey, I wonder if knowing how to work hard is enough. He didn’t just know how to work hard and face obstacles head-on, he went out and applied these skills. Daily. No mountain is too tall, no challenge to great…
Seth named his second son Joshua. My brother’s name is Joshua. The Josh Cohen Project?
#4 told me that he too feels a sense of ownership of the name Seth Cohen, ‘the only thing we truly own is our name’ he said more then once. I have to disagree however, and not just because there are hundreds of other SCs out there who each have a sense of ownership of those same nine letters. If passion can be about not just activities, but ideas, then ownership can too. This Seth Cohen owns, embodies and lives the principals he has built his life on. He owns them like I own a pair of shoes. And because of this, he owns his own destiny too.
Seth Cohen is one inspirational guy.